just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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