Having a random hookup so left but love u
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
