My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Four minutes until I can fart!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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