Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize