The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
