Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
