So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
