Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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