planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
