porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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