Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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