for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
please don't ironically join a cult
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