so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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