Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize