If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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