Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
