Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
