It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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