singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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