pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
