Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do herpes really smell.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
