8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
