Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
