the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I want a musical about memes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
