Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
