So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
