No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
