im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
