apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
