is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
