and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
