you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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