thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
