I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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