She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize