She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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