We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
