i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize