She's JV to your varsity
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
