Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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