i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
