its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
