Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
