I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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