Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
