You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
