Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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