just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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