wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize