The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
