Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want a musical about memes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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