Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
