When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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