exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize