Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
