You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize