dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
