help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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