Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
