I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
