Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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