today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
