At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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