i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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