Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
