This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
