So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
