The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
