SEEEEXXX PLEASE
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Randomize
