So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
