Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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