Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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