The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
